What about boo-berry?

Just a quick post while I wait for UPS to deliver my stupid text books for the semester.

Today, at work, we were talking about sugar cereal and Marxism at the same time. I quickly realized this may be the only time in my life I could talk about the passage below in a relevant conversation. Still reeling my my missed La Boheme opportunity, I jumped right in. I read the passage aloud; most found it amusing.

It is from Douglas Coupland's Microserfs. The setup is that two of the characters keep choosing radical and militant political affiliations, while harrassing others in the house for being "arrogant bourgeois cochon," "cryptofascist," and "benignly centrist." The political debate rages and in response the characters come up with a list of sugar cereals and label them either as capitalist (decadent) or Marxist (non-decadent).

CAP'N CRUNCH:
Reason this cereal is decadent:
a) Colonial exploiter pursues naïve Crunchberry cultures to plunder.
b) Drunkenness, torture, and debauchery implicit in long ocean cruises.

SUGAR FROSTED FLAKES:
Reason this cereal is decadent:
Silky throated military-industrial complex spokestoad "Tony the Tiger" exploits the need of the undereducated underclass for a paternalistic, Reagan-like figure. A cautionary tale of the perils of not indoctrinating at the creche level.

TRIX:
Reason this cereal is decadent:
Well-meaning rabbit, "Trix," kept in continual state of malnutrition/subservience by dominant children of the parasitic bourgeoisie. "Silly rabbit, Trix are for kids" can only be construed as a call to class warfare.

LUCKY CHARMS:
Reason this cereal is decadent:
Man with no known adult friends lures children into forest for purpose of nutritonal (ideological) seduction. Sprightly twinkle motif on packaging (putatively an allusion to "flavor") are, in fact, metaphors for soul-deadening sucrose.

RICE KRISPIES:
Reason this cereal is decadent:
Snap, Krackle, and Pop thinly veiled emblems for the Trilateral Commission.

COCOA PUFFS:
Reason this cereal is decadent:
"I'm cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs," the demented cackle of Sonny the Cocoa Puffs bird/spokesmuppet, is resonant with the insanity inherent in the needless enslavement of the proletariat.

COUNT CHOCULA-FRANKENBERRY:
Reason this cereal is NOT decadent:
Gay relationship offers an excellent role model for this new era of diversity. Witty empire motif plays on never-ending struggle of the oppressed to topple the ruling classes.

Ooh UPS is here!