Last night, I dreamt that Chuck Woolery (game show host extraordinaire) had become an evangelical christian and was now playing halfback for the Denver Broncos. I can't even guess as to what my subconscious is trying to tell me with this dream. I'm a little worried.
I, too, was going to talk about the creation of the Drills Up. Now, it just seems like copying. According to Villi, I also can't talk about An Inconvenient Truth, or The Departed, or the Oscars. She complains that I never update my page, but she steals all my damned topics. O, fortuna, you vicious slut!
Perhaps later in the week, when I have some time off (hello four day weekend) I will be able to write a longer and more substantial post. But right now, I gotta get my grammar paper written, from scratch, because I am an asshole who can't read directions.
Yesterday was a sporty kinda day, and the start of a sporty kinda week. We watched Kansas dominate Missouri. It was a great game full of many good plays and the triumphant non-return of Sasha Kaun. Could it finally be happening? Is Bill Self actually realizing that his Jayhawks are about 1000% more effective when Kaun is not in the game? He let Jackson play 20 minutes, in which time he scored 10 points, had 6 rebounds, 2 steals, a block, and does all of this while picking up a single foul. Kaun played 8 minutes, scored no points, got 2 rebounds and one block and had three fouls. The difference between Kaun and Jackson's fouls were that Kaun fouled the offensive player after he had already scored the bucket, setting him up for the easy three point play. Jackson fouled the offensive player before the shot, preventing the easy two and then the offensive player only made one from the charity stripe. It was wonderful to watch. I look forward to seeing them play on Wednesday, live. I can only hope that Self continues this trend of adjusting. If he can, it should be a great time.
Know what else is a great about basketball? This commerical-
Oh man, this may be the most brilliant commercial ever made. Sheer genius. It captures the drama and emotion of sports. This commercial is glorius. I have to talk myself out of weeping openly. It is basketball as opera. Love it!
Also, to complete the sports theme, Villi and I ran into Michelle Kwan at, of all places, Cost Plus in the wine store. It was very strange. Villi chatted her up about Coach leather and she even waved to us in the parking lot, as we walked out with her. She was very gracious and lovely considering she was really just looking to pick up some hootch.
In honor of Michelle Kwan, I will also post the video from her 2004 U.S. Championship Long Program to Tosca. Another performance that always makes me cry. When she gets to the straightline footwork, into her split leap, I am always totally crying.
Enjoy!
Instead of reading one of the 11 books I bought for school this semester, I am reading Wicked, by Gregory Maguire. I really thought this would be super-fluffy pop-lit, but it is actually well written.
I just wanted to share this quote:
"In any case, someone with real religious conviction is, I propose, a religious convict, and deserves locking up."
I really dug that.
Over and out.
I read something extremely troubling yesterday. Tom Cruise is trying to convince Ben Stiller to star in a remake of the Hardy Boys. I am baffled by this. The beauty of the Hardy Boys series is that Frank and Joe are locked in their youth- 18 and 17, respectively (I think). Ben Stiller and Tom Cruise are way too old to be playing the capricious, youthful sons of Fenton Hardy. I assume, since Tom Cruise has no sense of humor, that he would be playing Frank and Ben Stiller would be playing the wild child, Joe - blond hair, blue-eyed, California-good-looks Joe Hardy. Doesn't that sound like a dead ringer for Ben Stiller?
I grew up on the Nancy Drew Case Files and, a little later, the Nancy Drew/Hardy Boys crossover mysteries. The unfulfilled sexual chemistry between Nancy and Frank helped to bring me into womanhood. I have to hope that this is a joke and that someone as old and irrelevant as Tom Cruise isn't really going to cast himself as a teenage detective. Most likely, they will update the brothers to be older. I think this is also a bad idea - two brothers, still living together, Joe with a dead girlfriend, and Frank stringing Callie along - it's a little creepy and incestuous. Plus, the whole idea of the Hardy Boys is that they are young, the can infiltrate high schools and colleges, go where the real cops can't. And, they don't work for any agency, so they can bend the rules a little (they don't need a fucking warrant). Tom and Ben will just look like out of shape rent-a-cops who try to hit on underage chicks. This whole thing is just tragic and sad.
Okay, enough about the Hardy Boys. I will leave you with one of my favorite McSweeney's pieces about The Hardy Boys
I never liked Boston. One of the worst travel experiences of my life was driving through that stupid city. The hotel lost our reservation and we had to pay more for a suite, parking is like $1,000 an hour, and the restaurant we went to refused to seat us. We ended up getting lost by the waterfront, accosted by some Bean-town boys, and eating Boston Market in our hotel room. I always assumed that this terrible trip was the split result of my own failure to plan and Boston’s east-coast brusqueness.
After this whole ATHF incident, however, I am ready to revise my opinion of this trip and blame it completely on Boston. Obviously, this is a stupid city full of stupid people who think Lite Brites are bombs (or IEDs). No one can plan a good trip to a city this dumb. The mayor of Boston may be the whiniest bitch I have ever heard and I’m sick that he continues to justify the over-reaction of the entire city agency. The only thing we know for sure is that the populous of Boston is dumber than that of New York, Los Angeles, Chicago, Atlanta, Seattle, Portland, Austin, San Francisco, and Philadelphia. In all of these cities, people drove by a light board that was flipping them off and either laughed or ignored it. Well done, everyone but Boston.
"'I think Turner learned a lesson: that they will not tolerate this type of advertising any further,' Boston Mayor Thomas Menino told reporters." No, you fucktard, Turner Broadcasting learned that for a mere $2 million, they can get front page coverage on every major paper and website and introduce the show ATHF to millions of people that have never watched it, all while making the citizens of an entire metropolitan city look like a bunch of rubes. That is the best inverse ratio for advertising ever. This is why guerilla marketing is so brilliant. Even when it goes wrong, it goes right.
“He said he had no regrets about the city's response. ‘I would just say that the folks who second-guessed us because we did go out and do our work, shame on them.’” Umm, okay, duly noted. This guy really runs a whole city? I have half a mind to assemble a board that reads “NOT A BOMB” and hang them up all over Boston. I'm sure I'm not the only one.
This is really a shame, since ATHF bestowed the highest honors of the "ultimate song" to More than a Feeling, by, you guessed it, Boston.
You would think, after seven straight weeks of snow, that the fuckbags in Colorado would be better at driving in the snow, not worse. Today's drive home, under 3 miles, took almost 50 minutes to complete. I listened to 7 songs in a row simply waiting to get into a turn lane. About 4 songs in, I nearly lost it and was tempted to flee my vehicle and ruin some more lives. I pulled it together, though, and got home alright. I just get so frustrated with drivers in the snow.
I've been in a slump lately. School and work have got me down and I haven't been able to find the time or energy to do what I need to do. When I get to feeling kinda worthless like that, I don't want to write. It just forces me to think of all the things I am not doing. I used to think the weather didn't affect me, but I am starting to think that all the snow and gray skies are taking their toll. The way I see it, the only way out is crystal meth. Anyone know where I could score some?
