I got a beard on my hand

I’m not sleeping well. I go to bed between 11 and Midnight. I’m sleepy when I turn out the lights, reading until my eyes get heavy. Without fail, and with no regard the number of OTC sleeping pills I’ve taken, I pop awake between 3:30 and 4 AM and sleep fitfully until 7 AM. I can hardly get up in the morning to go to work. Usually when I am exercising, which I am right now, I don’t have sleep problems, so I am quick to blame this on one of the three new medications my endocrinologist prescribed for my newly diagnosed hypothalamus hypogonadism (previously I had been diagnosed with PCOS). I admit that the 10 year old in me totally snickered at the inclusion of the term “gonad” in my diagnosis. Thank you, Beavis and Butthead. One of my meds, Byetta, I inject into my thigh (the nurse at the office called it my meat, which I found off-putting). Byetta is interesting in that you know it is working if you feel horribly nauseated. One of the benefits of this medicine is that it helps you lose weight. It feels like chemical bulimia, no wonder it helps me lose weight. I’ve spent the first three hours of the last fifteen days feeling like crap, but it’s getting incrementally better.

New York is just around the corner, and I spend my free time picking out restaurants to try. By my count, we will have to eat 19 times in 3 days to hit all of the restaurants I want to visit. I, predictably, have created a spreadsheet to keep track of the optimal times to go to each of the restaurants and to remind myself about making reservations. I’m only truly happy when I can obsess over something. I had to transfer my mania from the Hauppauge HD PVR to the trip because the PVR was driving me crazy.

So let's crush that fly

My prom sucked: Not just my experience at the prom, but, really, the whole thing. The junior class throws the prom for the senior class ahead of them. If you have an eager, motivated bunch, you end up with a nice prom, like the one in any number of teen movies. If you have a bunch of gen y slacks, you get “One Night in Paris,” replete with shitty cardboard reproduction of the Eiffel Tower and bad pastries, hosted at the Colorado Art Institute because the juniors waited too long to book and all of the hotel ballrooms were taken.

The guy I had secretly hoped to go with was going with another girl, one who had been a friend and then, in the way of high school girls, abruptly stopped. The two groups of single people I tried to glom onto managed to shake me, so I ended up going alone in my mom’s 1991 Toyota Camry. I stayed about two hours: long enough to make the rounds, find someone in my exact same dress (a trashy, awful girl who brought her 35 year old husband as her date), receive no compliments on my homemade handbag and wrap, and be asked to dance zero times.

I had always equated prom with magic (common theme in my early life and this from a non-Catholic). There was this expectation, from all of those stupid 80s movies, that prom somehow fixed everything that had gone wrong in high school. Couples that were meant to be somehow found each other on prom night. Bad people were punished. The punishment could be innocuous, like public embarrassment and a food fight (a la Valley Girl), or death (a la Carrie). I wandered around my prom waiting for this whirling of the cosmos to happen, but it didn’t. I was home by 10:30 PM.

This year I turn 30, and I thought it might be fun to host a prom for my birthday. I was going to sell tickets (for a great dinner, of course) and hire a DJ and make everyone wear prom dresses and spike the punch and all of those goofy things associated with prom, but the more I thought about it, though, the more I feared I was still looking for this prom miracle. I would go through all of this trouble and expense of throwing this prom, and in the end, I would be out in the parking lot waiting for Andrew McCarthy (except not, cause no...maybe Jake Ryan instead). I would just be disappointed again.

So instead, I am going to NYC with my sister for 3 days. I plan to eat at great restaurants and see a show and not throw a prom. This solution helps me meet one of my new year’s resolutions as well. I have a problem saying no. Instead of saying no, I’ll do things for people and then resent the shit out of them. This way, I get a trip instead of the logistical headache of party planning. Yay for New York.

In other news, I love Vanity Fair. I'm about half way through, and I'm beginning to see why people didn't like the movie.

One month, to the day

Wow, I am embarrassed that it has been so long since I last posted. And really, a Bratz/Barbie post? Not the way to go out. I offer the following excuses; choose the one you like best.

1. I can't post from work anymore.
2. The O key broke on my laptop about a month ago, so I can't post from bed.
3. When I think about posting, I mostly want to rant about people in my life that either read the page or could find it. I hate being passive-aggressive on the internet. (This excuse is totally passive-aggressive).
4. I feel exhausted by my life.

Since it is the new year, and I have set the resolution to stopping enabling people, and consequently resenting them, I am only post good, upbeat, non-resentful things.

1. I'm going to New York for my 30th birthday. I'm staying at the Plaza (ooh la la), trying to get tickets to the Daily Show taping, making reservations at all sorts of lovely restaurants, and planning some crazy shopping with my very generous sister.
2. I got a new pair of Nike shoes, the ones that talk to your iPod.
3. I got a new iPod Touch from my boss, the ones that talk to your Nike shoes.
4. I found another link to my favorite Nike commercial that hasn't been pulled down for copyright violation.
5. I'm 16 weeks away from finishing my BA.
6. I finally watched the Star Wars trilogy and got all the nerds in my life off my back.
7. I ordered the replacement O key for my laptop.

I'm going to be better about this writing thing this year. But if not, see you in 2010.