Things to do in Denver when you're dead

I have a bad habit. Whenever there is a storm or riot or blackout or airport closure in Denver, I like to go to CNN or Google News and see where we stack up in the news rankings. This follows my habit of cheering (silently) whenever Denver is mentioned in a movie. In Deep Impact, when they are talking about the fallout from the meteor or comet or whatever it was that was going to hit the Earth, they talked about Denver being the only city of note left in the west and I was completely excited. In rap songs, when they start listing all the cities they give shoutouts to, I listen for Denver, noting its rank and being horribly offended if Denver doesn't make the list. I was ecstatic when I saw this Faithless album cover, featuring the Bluebird Theater on Colfax.

I think this all started listening to Huey Lewis and the News' Heart of Rock 'n' Roll at like 11 and being devastated that Denver wasn't mention. At the time, I had no idea that Denver had absolutely no musical scene or tradition and that we hung our entire fame on Big Head Todd and the Monsters. Who? Yeah, exactly. I have great pride for Denver, Colorado and like to see it reported as a thriving metropolis, rather than a glorified cow town.

Today, however, the amount of news (bad news) about Colorado, is just scary. People are going to be scared to come here. On CNN, right now, Colorado is the breaking news, with an avalanche on Berthoud Pass (which throws our hockey team's name into sharp relief), a live stream of Darrent Williams funeral which reminds people that athletes die in drive-by shootings in Denver, a story about two planes nearly colliding at DIA, and two stories about the onslaught of winter storms here and how the national guard has been called in to help dig out cows and pigs that have been buried or orphaned in the feet of snow we have gotten in the last 2 1/2 weeks. Maybe all this exposure isn't such a great thing after all.

I will just have to hope that our evening at the Botanic Gardens isn't spoiled by poisoned monkeys, terrorist attacks, extreme flatulence or otherwise.