Shame

I've all but abandoned this page for facebook; it's easier. Facebook is like heating a can of soup up on the stove. This is real cooking.

Some of the things I think about or want to write about can't be discussed in 50 words, in the third person. To feel better about it I have to give the backstory, plead my case, and use first person, and I still feel more comfortable in the general anonymity of this page. It makes me feel safer when I choose to discuss some of the illogical rules that govern my life, not quite so judged. Like when I tell people that I always pay for the software I use to pirate media, they think it is strange. It's just the rule. Or another rule, don't say I love you first. I told a friend this rule, and she asked me what I would do if the other person lived by this rule, too. She was implying that my rigidity, my need for control, my trust issues were going to hurt me in the end. Probably, because they already had.

I've got very little experience with being in love. Hmm, this got more painfully confessional than I expected. I'll try again another day.