Shrug

I have a good job with a nice, important sounding title. It could even be a career. I'm about to finish my BA. I pay my rent. I own a car. I am, by most available measures, a grown-up. Why do I feel like an idiot child so often? This icky, deep, resonating feeling that I'm just a stupid kid, it's always there. I worry about what I say, and how I'll be judged, and it threatens to swallow me up. I feel like I'm in 10th grade, and I haven't done my homework. I am eternally prepared to be ill-prepared and nothing I do seems to change that. It's especially hard when I feel like the punk kids on shows like the Hills have everything better assembled than I do.