This all sounds familiar

Just after Hurricane Katrina, when the whole refugee versus evacuee argument was going on, Villi and I got into an argument with this troglodyte in our English class. He was trying to argue that refugee was appropriate because it shared a root meaning with refuge. I countered this argument with the fact that fugitive also shares a root meaning with refuge and so what is your fucking point? The argument went on and on and many arguments were called up and, in turn, smacked down. Finally, after many verbal backhands, the moron dropped the class and was never heard from again.

His logic, which in no way resembles our earth logic, seems to be shared with Ms. Ann Coulter. It took her almost 4 days to respond to the backlash from her 'faggot' comment at the CPAC (really why is anyone surprised or shocked by anything that comes from the mouth of that guttersnipe?). And when she did respond, this was all she could offer - "Faggot isn't offensive to gays; it has nothing to do with gays. It's a schoolyard taunt meaning 'wuss,' and unless you're telling me that John Edwards is gay, it was not applied to a gay person."

I can't think of a less qualified person to speak to what is or is not offensive to gays. This is the same woman that said in the same breath that she doesn't want to discriminate against gays, she just doesn't want them to get married. Clearly Ann Coulter is not exactly enlightened about civil rights, GLBT issues, or anything ever.

And as I told the moron Donald, just because you think refugee doesn't have a negative connotation, doesn't mean the whole world agrees with you. Likewise, Ann, just because you toss this word around all careless like doesn't mean that the word doesn't mean something to others (read:the whole fucking English-speaking world). Perhaps my pet name for my sister is Sucky McFuckrag and maybe when we hear this, we giggle with delight, but people would probably take offense if I started calling her that in public, or in full page ads in the local paper.

Which, by the way, is not a denial of my first amendment rights. The first amendment grants you the right to say what you like, but it doesn't mean it will be consequence free. I have the right to confess to killing a man just to watch him die. If the police decide to arrest me and question me on this, they are not denying me my first amendment rights. That is merely a consequence of my speech. The first amendment doesn't exist in a vacuum; the first amendment merely protects your rights to say something (meaning you can't be silenced) but it doesn't protect you from the fallout. So quit using that fucking argument you moronic, conservative douchebags! (see I get to say that because of the first amendment, but if someone takes offense to that, or asks me to remove it, or threatens to pull non-existent sponsorship, that is their choice and it is in no way protected or enforced by the US government.)

HD makes you smarter

We ordered our HDTV after watching the Super Bowl in HD and realizing it would be great for college basketball, especially the final four (go Hawks!) You get the TV and the picture and sound are amazing. It is truly a wonder of visual technology. But soon, after all the basketball games have ended, you start running through the channels and none of the non-HD programs look good at all. So what do you end up watching? Discovery in HD. Hours of it. It is beautiful to look at and becomes addictive. So, you learn about Powis Castle in Wales and the programs to revitalize the bush in southwestern Australia. You stop watching hours of VH1 celebreality, which you are really happy about and instead look forward to Planet Earth on Discovery (starting in April).

Right now, I have stumbled on the digital galleries that you can play on your HDTV that show nature pictures, or in this case famous paintings. It is the definition of simplicity. Beautiful images of famous paintings, with a momentary description about the painter and the artist, set to a very delicate and beautiful piano piece. I've only been watching for about 20 minutes, but I am pretty sure I could pick a Maurice de Vlaminck painting out of a a lineup. I also enjoy this format because I don't have to put on any airs studying the pictures. I don't have to pretend to be moved or even to understand what I am seeing. I can just look at them and I don't have to offer an opinion. I get to look at them for as long as I want. I can' pause the picture or rewind it and I don't have to worry about the person behind me trying to look. Right now, here in my living room, these paintings belong to me.

I realize that rather than just being a delivery method for crystal clear sporting events, this TV lets me see the whole world with the same clarity. Plus, it is pretty kick ass for playing the video games.

My birthday in pictures...thanks everyone

I'm going mad

Last night, I dreamt that Chuck Woolery (game show host extraordinaire) had become an evangelical christian and was now playing halfback for the Denver Broncos. I can't even guess as to what my subconscious is trying to tell me with this dream. I'm a little worried.

Villi stole my blog title

I, too, was going to talk about the creation of the Drills Up. Now, it just seems like copying. According to Villi, I also can't talk about An Inconvenient Truth, or The Departed, or the Oscars. She complains that I never update my page, but she steals all my damned topics. O, fortuna, you vicious slut!

Perhaps later in the week, when I have some time off (hello four day weekend) I will be able to write a longer and more substantial post. But right now, I gotta get my grammar paper written, from scratch, because I am an asshole who can't read directions.

Sports post

Yesterday was a sporty kinda day, and the start of a sporty kinda week. We watched Kansas dominate Missouri. It was a great game full of many good plays and the triumphant non-return of Sasha Kaun. Could it finally be happening? Is Bill Self actually realizing that his Jayhawks are about 1000% more effective when Kaun is not in the game? He let Jackson play 20 minutes, in which time he scored 10 points, had 6 rebounds, 2 steals, a block, and does all of this while picking up a single foul. Kaun played 8 minutes, scored no points, got 2 rebounds and one block and had three fouls. The difference between Kaun and Jackson's fouls were that Kaun fouled the offensive player after he had already scored the bucket, setting him up for the easy three point play. Jackson fouled the offensive player before the shot, preventing the easy two and then the offensive player only made one from the charity stripe. It was wonderful to watch. I look forward to seeing them play on Wednesday, live. I can only hope that Self continues this trend of adjusting. If he can, it should be a great time.

Know what else is a great about basketball? This commerical-


Oh man, this may be the most brilliant commercial ever made. Sheer genius. It captures the drama and emotion of sports. This commercial is glorius. I have to talk myself out of weeping openly. It is basketball as opera. Love it!

Also, to complete the sports theme, Villi and I ran into Michelle Kwan at, of all places, Cost Plus in the wine store. It was very strange. Villi chatted her up about Coach leather and she even waved to us in the parking lot, as we walked out with her. She was very gracious and lovely considering she was really just looking to pick up some hootch.

In honor of Michelle Kwan, I will also post the video from her 2004 U.S. Championship Long Program to Tosca. Another performance that always makes me cry. When she gets to the straightline footwork, into her split leap, I am always totally crying.



Enjoy!

Don't you have schoolwork to do?

Instead of reading one of the 11 books I bought for school this semester, I am reading Wicked, by Gregory Maguire. I really thought this would be super-fluffy pop-lit, but it is actually well written.

I just wanted to share this quote:

"In any case, someone with real religious conviction is, I propose, a religious convict, and deserves locking up."

I really dug that.

Over and out.

Fuck Ned Nickerson!

I read something extremely troubling yesterday. Tom Cruise is trying to convince Ben Stiller to star in a remake of the Hardy Boys. I am baffled by this. The beauty of the Hardy Boys series is that Frank and Joe are locked in their youth- 18 and 17, respectively (I think). Ben Stiller and Tom Cruise are way too old to be playing the capricious, youthful sons of Fenton Hardy. I assume, since Tom Cruise has no sense of humor, that he would be playing Frank and Ben Stiller would be playing the wild child, Joe - blond hair, blue-eyed, California-good-looks Joe Hardy. Doesn't that sound like a dead ringer for Ben Stiller?

I grew up on the Nancy Drew Case Files and, a little later, the Nancy Drew/Hardy Boys crossover mysteries. The unfulfilled sexual chemistry between Nancy and Frank helped to bring me into womanhood. I have to hope that this is a joke and that someone as old and irrelevant as Tom Cruise isn't really going to cast himself as a teenage detective. Most likely, they will update the brothers to be older. I think this is also a bad idea - two brothers, still living together, Joe with a dead girlfriend, and Frank stringing Callie along - it's a little creepy and incestuous. Plus, the whole idea of the Hardy Boys is that they are young, the can infiltrate high schools and colleges, go where the real cops can't. And, they don't work for any agency, so they can bend the rules a little (they don't need a fucking warrant). Tom and Ben will just look like out of shape rent-a-cops who try to hit on underage chicks. This whole thing is just tragic and sad.

Okay, enough about the Hardy Boys. I will leave you with one of my favorite McSweeney's pieces about The Hardy Boys

But that would belittle the name of our moon, which is the Moon

I never liked Boston. One of the worst travel experiences of my life was driving through that stupid city. The hotel lost our reservation and we had to pay more for a suite, parking is like $1,000 an hour, and the restaurant we went to refused to seat us. We ended up getting lost by the waterfront, accosted by some Bean-town boys, and eating Boston Market in our hotel room. I always assumed that this terrible trip was the split result of my own failure to plan and Boston’s east-coast brusqueness.

After this whole ATHF incident, however, I am ready to revise my opinion of this trip and blame it completely on Boston. Obviously, this is a stupid city full of stupid people who think Lite Brites are bombs (or IEDs). No one can plan a good trip to a city this dumb. The mayor of Boston may be the whiniest bitch I have ever heard and I’m sick that he continues to justify the over-reaction of the entire city agency. The only thing we know for sure is that the populous of Boston is dumber than that of New York, Los Angeles, Chicago, Atlanta, Seattle, Portland, Austin, San Francisco, and Philadelphia. In all of these cities, people drove by a light board that was flipping them off and either laughed or ignored it. Well done, everyone but Boston.

"'I think Turner learned a lesson: that they will not tolerate this type of advertising any further,' Boston Mayor Thomas Menino told reporters." No, you fucktard, Turner Broadcasting learned that for a mere $2 million, they can get front page coverage on every major paper and website and introduce the show ATHF to millions of people that have never watched it, all while making the citizens of an entire metropolitan city look like a bunch of rubes. That is the best inverse ratio for advertising ever. This is why guerilla marketing is so brilliant. Even when it goes wrong, it goes right.

“He said he had no regrets about the city's response. ‘I would just say that the folks who second-guessed us because we did go out and do our work, shame on them.’” Umm, okay, duly noted. This guy really runs a whole city? I have half a mind to assemble a board that reads “NOT A BOMB” and hang them up all over Boston. I'm sure I'm not the only one.

This is really a shame, since ATHF bestowed the highest honors of the "ultimate song" to More than a Feeling, by, you guessed it, Boston.

White-knuckled fury

You would think, after seven straight weeks of snow, that the fuckbags in Colorado would be better at driving in the snow, not worse. Today's drive home, under 3 miles, took almost 50 minutes to complete. I listened to 7 songs in a row simply waiting to get into a turn lane. About 4 songs in, I nearly lost it and was tempted to flee my vehicle and ruin some more lives. I pulled it together, though, and got home alright. I just get so frustrated with drivers in the snow.

I've been in a slump lately. School and work have got me down and I haven't been able to find the time or energy to do what I need to do. When I get to feeling kinda worthless like that, I don't want to write. It just forces me to think of all the things I am not doing. I used to think the weather didn't affect me, but I am starting to think that all the snow and gray skies are taking their toll. The way I see it, the only way out is crystal meth. Anyone know where I could score some?